I'm losing it!

Well I totally lost it today!  My hair that is!  I am now bald.  Can you even believe it?  I knew today was going to come but I didn't know how I would feel.  How do you prepare for a moment like this?  Truthfully so far I am fine.  I kept thinking I would have a meltdown and cry but I haven't.  I guess I feel like I have all along and just recognize it as another step in my journey.  That's not to say I may not lose it soon and cry but so far all is well! 

We had a great time tonight and I am grateful to all of my friends and family who were here to support me in this.  Thanks to my hairdresser and friend Angi who came to my house to make this experience easier.  You are the best Angi!  I haven't seen all of the pictures yet but I know we laughed and had fun.  I have some awesome "dumb and dumber" bangs at one point, a long mo-hawk, a crazy ponytail, a mullet and many other looks before we finished with shaving it all off.  It was so sweet because my cute 3 year year old just kept saying, "It's okay.  I love you!  You are still just mom".

 
Many of you have wondered about my hair loss.  I began losing it 3 days into chemo but it wasn't until Tuesday of this week that it started to fall out in clumps and by Wednesday my head started to hurt.  Yes, it hurts!  I can feel my hair dying and my scalp is super tender.  It's not like when you shed hair like we all do daily.  It is different.  So when you wake up with so much hair on your pillowcase that it is hard to know what color the pillowcase is or when you can't touch your head without having a handful of hair, I knew it was time!  The doctors said 4 to 6 weeks in I would start to lose it but I didn't even make it three.  I guess that just means that the medicine is working, right?!

I am thankful for this experience.  I am so glad that I know about a loving Heavenly Father who has this plan for me.  When people look at me I hope they see the light of Christ shining in my eyes and not just see my bald head.  I pray that I can always be grateful for all I have been blessed with.  I want to make the most of each opportunity that I am given.  I hope through me having to shave my head I can be an example to my girls.  I pray that they may learn that what is most important is not the color of our hair, the clothes we wear, the size or shape of the body we were blessed with but that they will know it is so much more than all of that.  May we all learn to love who we are!  Love what we have been given.  See the beauty in everyday life and love and live more fully!!  May we take what comes our way and make the most of it!  I have not always done this and my personal challenge to myself is to try a little harder to be a little better!  May you challenge yourself to do the same is my wish for this evening!  Love you!  Me :)